The Milk Memoirs

One part chronicle, one part resource of all things breastfeeding and family life…with a good dose of fun,crafts & mommy realness

Aging with grace, appreciation and anticipation


trax 30_20150603_064757I certainly hope Im not boring you with all the birthday vibes up in this here blog, but that’s where my brain is at right now. Especially considering that we are still toying with the idea of whether or not to have a party for Parker-Grace’s second birthday next month – so you should very likely expect more party posts soon.

As I’ve explained before (see here), we tend to only throw kiddy parties every second year, with the non-party year just being a family affair – although with the size of my family, like Mike always jokes, it still ends up being a party.  All these celebrations that I never regret. In fact, only cherish. I also recently shared with you how, I, as a mature grown-up, celebrated her mid-thirties-it was fun, silly, ridiculous and perfect.(see here) But there was also a time when I was even in two minds about even having it. (Although having kids that now slept well, and also me not being pregnant on my birthday, may have helped tip the scales)

In fact, recently my brother Rolff just turned the big 4-Oh, and he was also in two minds. Whilst everyone was ready to help and prepare, he was adamantly against any form of celebration. Fortnately his wifey managed to convince him of at least allowing small a shin-dig for the fam – which he thankfully gave into.

I knew that it was against his style to draw any attention towards himself, but I was so glad he did. And in hopes of many more parties in his honour, I said to him that he needs to stop fighting this need that we have of celebrating him, and to just allow himself to be surrounded by those that love and adore him for who is. Who take delight in merely just being in his company. There is such joy in our hearts to be celebrating someone like him. I mean, there certainly can be no wrong in being surrounded by this kind of energy. Why not revel in it – especially so, if its only once a year! I’d say, from what I’ve learnt, is that you should grab the opportunity with both hands, as these moments don’t always present themselves all too often.

Celebrate! Soak up the love, the gratitude, the positive vibes. Take note and focus on all the good that you have achieved so far. I mean, how often do we really do that, compared to all the negative aspects of ourselves that we so easily tend to swirl in our heads on the daily?

It’s no shocker that I’m getting on in years – I mean, that’s like what happens, right? But contrary to popular reaction, (and maybe I’m weird this way) I’m actually very ok with it. More than that, I’m excited! Ok. Yeah sure, I’m not too excited about wrinkly eyes – ‘cause now liquid liner has become such a pain to apply, not that I was any good at it to begin with …And, yeah, I’m still a bit jolted at how oddly stubborn the effects of donuts and Oreos now have on my thighs. But, honestly, I’m genuinely excited about this life that is unfolding.

I look at my husband – heaven-sent and made to my spec. Then I look at our children, and I realise how we are making our dreams come true (Through His grace, of course). My heart often flutters at the idea of what life will be like for us all, and what we would all have achieved by the time we are in our 40’s! ….I mean, just imagine. Imagine that for yourself!…Exciting stuff, I tell you!

Simple joys: Playing with my little family in our garden, with the best team mate I could have ever asked for right at my side, remind me that dreams do come true. Photo cred: Marysol Blomerus

Simple joys: Playing with my little family in our garden, with the best team mate I could have ever asked for right at my side, remind me that dreams do come true.
Photo cred: Marysol Blomerus

A day in the life of the Porters, back then: Toy strewn lounge, with little giggles...A home where children live...A home Im so happy to be a part of. Photo cred: Marysol Blomerus

A day in the life of the Porters, back then: Toy strewn lounge, with little giggles…A home where children live…A home and a life Im so happy to be a part of…and get excited about, as I watch it unfold.
Photo cred: Marysol Blomerus

Now, don’t get it mixed up, Im not trying to make a bee-line to the 40’s as such. I am a “process” kind of person. As in, I prefer to allow life to unfold, let the tides of come in and out, ebb and flow, feeling deeply in all that life bears. Enduring, embracing, recovering, growing, celebrating, stripping yourself of unnecessary layers- however raw and rough the process may be. I understand and constantly remind myself that there is a purpose to it, even when that purpose itself may not yet be known to me. Never easy, though. Good God, its not easy at all. But what worthwhile path ever is?

So I sound pretty sure about this 40’s thing, eh? Like 40’s is where its at! Allow me to explain: Thing is, growing up, I very consciously took note of my folks, aunts, uncles and their friends, and asked them only like bajillion questions, much like an short annoying little investigative reporter, about their lives. Their toils, their triumphs, and their mundane and normal bits too. I noticed how it was always in their 40’s that everything seemed to come together.

I personally enjoyed every age I was at, and could happily turn the page on it, like reading a good book. I think maybe turning 25 was the only real shocker for me, though. I was really reality-smacked with how much my body started to change and was so slow to respond. (Spent some time in the States, and on my return I was quite,umm… rotund. How rotund?Lets just say, I was twice the woman, I used to be. 🙂 ) So that was an adjustment for me, but when the time came, I said good-bye to my Bullet-proof twenties with a wink and double cannons, and willingly slipped into my dirty thirties.

And I’ve got to say, I do love it here. Reasons are too many for this post, for me to truly bare to you. But it is a good space; perpetual motion and discovery at another level– more so than one could have anticipated.

But the 40’s? Based on my humble theories, that seems to be where all their hard work and efforts culminate into their proverbial fruits of their labour. Fabulous Forties, apparently. I suppose that’s where the saying “Life begins at 40” comes from. Who knows.

Obviously not everyone’s 40’s reflect this notion, but in the majority, I would in my humble opinion, say there seems to be a pattern. And maybe its also still what you make of it, with the strong element of manifestation. But at least, that’s what I’ve noticed.

Don’t get me wrong, Im not waiting on 40’s so that I can be happy, content and excited. That, I believe is possible at every single age. With opportunities in every day. But I feel like it’s a snowball effect, where it just seems to be getting better and better with every year…even when it feels like life may have been giving us the finger for most of the year. The 40’s seem to hold the promise of where the real magic is. Yes, I hear you, there is magic in every year, in every decade…in fact, in every DAY! I agree. But in my theory, and you don’t have to subscribe to it if you don’t agree, but the 40’s? I don’t know man…There’s something about it. So perhaps then you can understand my anticipation thereof. Embracing every step of this journey – even those that leave me in snot en trane.

In fact, if you think about it, it doesn’t take much but for each of us to look around to see just how much we’ve grown in each passing year. Snowball effect, man.

So take each year, each birthday, as the opportunities to set down the layers that you are building up, towards the life you’ve been set here on this earth for. And while you’re at it, take the time to surround yourself with people that you love, invite the good energy in your life and spread it. Spread joy and love. And wrap it generously around yourself. For you are wonderful, amazing and worth it. Right now, at whatever your age.
Besides, 30 is the new 20! 😉


Author: mommabeartrax

Mother of two (and counting), pregnant with the third and have a sweet little angel in heaven. A very happy wifey, blogger, lover of life and laughter, a clumsy swimmer, loyal friend, Im funnier in my head than I actually am, I am a qualified HypnoBirthing Child Birth Educator, I get inexplicably excited about good food, baking & crafts. Although, I think baking and crafts are just trying to fill a void that my Kenpo and gym-rat days used to fill. Lastly, according to the rest of the world, I fix your printer. But I'm actually a Software Architect.

4 thoughts on “Aging with grace, appreciation and anticipation

  1. Listen, I’m enjoying my 40’s 🙂 but enjoy every year until you get there.


  2. Pingback: “All Gold” Birthday | The Milk Memoirs

  3. Pingback: Celebrating Forty in the French Corner: Our Franschoek Getaway | The Milk Memoirs

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