The Milk Memoirs

One part chronicle, one part resource of all things breastfeeding and family life…with a good dose of fun,crafts & mommy realness

Gone fishing…

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gone-fishing

Learning to manage my energy

Gone fishing…or whatever else it is that people go do to disconnect and re-energise themselves.

Seriously, folks…I had all good intentions of posting my annual “To Parker-Grace on your birthday” post today- a post I’ve written in my head a thousand times this past month. Each time it sounding so perfect in my head – encapsulating her character, her quirks, the effect she had on us all, and personifying our love for her in a way that only love-drunk mom minds could conjure up…and yet, I couldn’t even get myself to sit down in front of my pc to manifest it into real written word. My brain. Was. Dead. …Is dead. So even my Halloween warm up post- that’s already been written last Wednesday, all the photos captured. Even titled, “Halloween: Almost GAME TIME!” – just sits here in draft. Looking at me like a hungry puppy just waiting for my green signal to “Go!” But I look at that post, and I can’t be sure it’s any good, if it captures anything I want it to capture. It possibly feels like the empty shell I myself am feeling right now.

Then again, for all I know it could be perfectly fine and tell the tale of our buzzing home right and for the past week quite accurately and charmingly. But when I try to review it, all my tired eyes read is “wharp, wharp, wharp, wharp” in that Charlie-Brown teacher-esque way and that’s no help.

So instead I decided to just hold it back. Im not about posting stuff for the sake of posting. This blog of mine is truly something I enjoy pouring my energy into. But recently, I’ve started feeling like that cup from which Im pouring is starting trickle. In fact, as I tried my utmost to truly make my BABY feel special on her third birthday yesterday, I started feeling odd. Like why is this feeling like a lot of effort I’m putting into this. Like I’m really having to TRY – whereas this is normally nothing for me. It was usually with these things, celebration of others, of my loved ones that seemed like I had an endless supply of energy. But as I started to tap the back of that cup, in hopes of getting a few more drops out of it yesterday, I realised I may very well be on empty. And this saddened me.

Saddened me immensely that as it came to my darling little family yesterday, I had actually well and truly starting to run out of energy. The last place I ever want to run out of energy. I feel Im so thinly spread across everything right – all of which is so important in my life. (Both as life necessities and also investments into our future as a family)

I had recently read a status update by a dear woman who is close to my heart, and she spoke of managing not only her time, but also her energy. And how important it is to manage them both, but epseically so with one’s energy. It really was an ah-ha moment for me. I spoke to Mike about it, and spoke of how I realise realistically given our current circumstances, I only have a certain limit of energy…and only now realise that I was a touch reckless in the way that I spent it. And now, I need to find a way to refill that proverbial cup and become wise in the way that I spend it going forward.

This blog will forever remain a positive place of where I will continue to pour my energies into – for one being that I feel it is a good space in which I can contribute to the well-being of others. (even in a small way at best). But until there is actually something to actually pour from that cup, I feel it is wiser for me to take a small break from this blog. And many other things currently in my life –definitely not for distaste thereof, but purely for revival and knowing that I am responsible for my own well-being.
So, it may be a short break – and I come back next Monday. In fact I HOPE it’s just till next week Monday. Or it may be next month. Who knows?! Save of course for one VERY awesome giveaway that Josie and I have for you. (So don’t miss that one!)

Tonight is Halloween, and I can thankfully say all our costume choices are sorted. So, even with flu knocking at my door right now, I know I will be snuggling up with my little costumed-up family tonight. Maybe brave the South Easter a bit for trick-treating and have a whole lots of chill! I look forward to sharing it all with you.
Till next time, take care of yourself, find reasons to celebrate in everyday…and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! X

ps. I’m still alive over Instagram, Facebookand Twitter(although Im really bad at twitter).

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Author: mommabeartrax

Mother of two (and counting),a very happy wifey, blogger, lover of life and laughter, a clumsy swimmer, loyal friend, Im funnier in my head than I actually am, I get inexplicably excited about good food, baking & crafts. Although, I think baking and crafts are just trying to fill a void that my Kenpo and gym-rat days used to fill. Lastly, according to the rest of the world, I fix your printer.

9 thoughts on “Gone fishing…

  1. Aaah shame man. So sad to hear that we won’t be hearing from you but hoping that get the break that you needed in “letting go” a bit, and that your energy gets replenished really soon! Thought of you on Saturday evening when we went to a friend’s cordoned off neighbourhood for a full blown Halloween event. Well, nothing special, but everybody dresses up and houses get decorated. People sit outside on their lawns and give sweets to all and sundry. So nice 🙂 And tonight, we’re having trick-or-treating in our complex!! Take care till next time we hear from you xxx

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    • I love that! A full blown halloween event – awesome! Clearly we missed the memo here in our neighbourhood. Missed the trick pr treating group and went at it alone.
      And yes, even my hubby was saddened when he read what I wrote. He never thought I would let this go. But its necessary. I feel it. Its always a joy writing for this blog, but need to take care of me overall, which includes the blog. Hope to be back soon though. X

      Liked by 1 person

  2. R & I were watching “Bad Moms” last night & at one point said at the same time, Mila reminds us of you… No matter what circumstances or challenges you face, you always perservere & soldier on for the sake of your precious family. At the end of the movie, the main characters & their Moms were comparing their motherhood & the Mom’s acknowledged that their daughters are actually so much better Mom’s than them. Same as you; as with today you’re facing so much more challenges in life. Here’s to hoping you’re making YOU a priority !

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    • haha..thats so extremely kind of you. I hardly think I do as much, and am certainly no “movie mom”, but I definitely try my best…and I am still aiming to be even half as good a mother as my own mom. But still I appreciate the sentiment. And yes, we all should make ourselves a priority, something I probably preach alot of too – but, oh, the rub lies within the implementation of that statement! Here’s to keep trying! And here’s to YOU, also an amazing mother! X

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  3. I hope you regain all that energy and is back soon. Happy recharging to you!

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    • Thanks,Catjuggles – I am back, and whilst ALL the energies are NOT back ( i think I need to come to terms with the deficit children have left me with.teehee), it is great to be back on the blog. Now just to play a bit of catch up on life here in my little corner of the interwebs. X

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  4. Pingback: Halloween: It’s almost Game Time!!! | The Milk Memoirs

  5. Pingback: On your third birthday Parker-Grace | The Milk Memoirs

  6. Pingback: The cuteness of Halloween…and the one where we got it all wrong! | The Milk Memoirs

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