The Milk Memoirs

One part chronicle, one part resource of all things breastfeeding and family life…with a good dose of fun,crafts & mommy realness

Captain’s Log: Preggy Week 29 – I Can’t See My Vagina Anymore & Hello Pubis Symphasis Dysfunction!

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sidenote: A bit of an unkempt pic – but whatev’s. It’s the only pic I have of myself at week 29- and only just. Cause we only remembered while I was prepping for work the next day, right before sleepy time on the last day of week 29.

Captain’s Preggo’s Log, Star date: It’s the star date where I can’t see my va-jay-jay any more. Yes, that one.
It’s an inevitable milestone really, as your burgeoning belly, with the promise of healthy baby growth, simply eclipses your lady bits from your sights. No matter which way you crane your neck, there are no visuals from any normal angle anymore. (Just give it up already.) Inevitable and normal, yes, but I gotta say, it’s pretty bloody inconvenient.

I mean, have you ever tried shaving blind? Down there? With shortened arms? Cause that’s what it now feels like, as you now have extra diameters of belly to stretch over to reach your bits. So what was previously easily within reach, is now like a tale of myth and legend: There was once a great and mighty punan that …*scratch record*…before I reveal just how ridiculous my thoughts can get, I shall instead summize that you get what I mean.

I mean, I know it’s there, I just can’t see her…with the result, I’m pretty sure my half-assed shaving attempts are probably leaving me looking a bit like a patchy, matted rabid dog of sorts. Or not. Who knows?! I for one wouldn’t…CAUSE I CANT SEE! But also very possibly the same reaso why Im suprisingly not really giving too big a hoot about it right now in any case.

Also my current pain levels thanks to Pubis Symphasis Dysfunction (PSD) could be adding to the could-care-less attitude. Because, honestly…guys, this PSD crap freakin hurts! I’ve never ever before had any aches and pains the way I do with this pregnancy. Previous pregnancies, it was just my twisted pelvis that gave issues in the beginning of pregnancy as the Relaxin hormone worked it’s crazy love-hate magic on me.And then sometimes intermittently later on in the pregnancy too. But that was it. This pregnancy however, is bringing about so many aches and pains, I’m actually feeling very sorry myself, yes, but even more so for my hubby, for all that he has to do and step in and sub for me in this parenting game. It’s really uncool. I mean, he’s uber cool for all that he does. Downnright bloody amazing, actually. But uncool that it has to fall on him all the time. But we have little choice here.

Oh, what’s that? Not sure what Pubis Symphasis Dysfunction (PSD) is? Well, it’s premature seperation of your pubic bones thanks to pregnancy hormones. How does it feel? Well, imagine been physically ripped in two, from the pelvis out, starting at your pubic bone…then you’ll kind of have a smidgen of an idea…Because,Holy freakin cow, guys…”wrenching pain” is a good start at describing it. Any activty where your knees are apart, or require one leg to be lifted, leaves my eyeballs popping in pain, while I mouth a silent dramatic scream. You know, normal things like putting on a pants, turning over in bed, getting out of bed/car/chair, etc, etc…you get the picture. I have mastered masking the pain from appearing across my face, but on the inside, I die a little every time. It’s off the charts painful and can be debilitating at times, and in truth, so very frustrating.

Frustrating because I wanna be active and play the fool with kiddies, get cracking on nursery prep, redo both our big girls bedrooms (like I’ve been meaning to since forever), walk up and down to meetings with ease and just generally remain as able and happy as I normally am during pregnancy. But I physically can’t. Which, I suppose, is my own fault really – I’ve lead an almost inactive life since motherhood hit. That’s SEVEN years of in activity!

I’ve done zero weight training (which used to be my staple happy place channel), and basically no other form of exercise really – not counting my two previous failed triumphant comebacks I made in the last 7 years. Which, anyone who really knows me well, will tell you that, that is pretty much unfathomable for me. Unfathomable, but true. And sad. Because I truly enjoy exercise, and honing my body to be able to achieve more and more with it. It never had anything to do with a number on a scale – I dont weigh myself. In fact, can’t even tell you how much I weigh right now. I’d have to ask my midwife. It never mattered to me. What did matter was how much my body could do when I was fit and strong, and as a mother this meant fast and easy postpartum recovery. It meant running longer with my kids, and tumbling with them on the grass till the cows came home. It also meant easier pregnancies.

And now, as I pay for the lack thereof in this pregnancy, I am so filled with regret that I didn’t carve out the time to truly get back into it. Sure life is busy and hectic and I probably had very valid reasons for not being able to reclaim it back then. But that’s neither here nor there right now.

What does matter is that Im currently researching how to treat this PSD. I know there’s got to be more than “just rest” to the equation. Because what mother of two little kids actually gets that kind of consistent rest?! Nevermind a working mom of two. So, I will find the answers, and once I do, I’ll be sure to share it with all of you. I just cant see myself spending my last few weeks of pregnancy limping and whimpering about this. Hell, no! Here, hold my beer. (while I put on my nerd glasses)

As for stretchmarks..DUDE!! Why am I so lazy about this?! I’ve probably got a few more, as little Coconut over here is really pushing out now. Am I lazy/stupid/crazy for not worrying about this? Yes, ohhh, stretch marks are so against what society dictates for us women. But I honestly cant give a crap about it right now. Not to say that I shouldnt be taking care of myself. Which I think is more of the issue right there for me. I need to get back into the habit of taking care of myself again. I need to stop preaching it, and actively start doing more of it. It’s just that our life’s to do list is so blessed long as it is, right?

As for Coconut herself, she is doing awesomely and really getting a proper workout in there… With Billy Blanks, apparently, if the kicks and punches are anything to go by. Im loving it and it is always so reassuring to feel her being so busy.(Except the cervix kicks. She can keep the bloody cervix kicks, really.) Constantly changing sides and positions, making my whole belly shake from side to side. It can be very, very distracting in the boardroom, mind you. I sometimes, just want to interupt these business presentations, and be like, “did ya’ll SEE that?! OMG! nevermind cost tracking, check my belly out! Just watch, watch!…Be patient…She’ll do it again!” Of course, I snap right out of that Alley McBeal moment when they start asking me questions on the discussion at hand.

As for our big girls,they are doing great still, and both seem to have adjusted quite well to the idea of a new little sister on the way – no toys out of the cot, no emotional withdrawals or outbursts.(not that there were any really to begin with.) There’s just love and excitement. What more can I ask for?! 🙂

Mike and I are also truly excited. We’re at the point of “cant wait anymore” but also, “let’s get in all the rest we can now, while its still possible” ..And by rest, I say that very lightly…with a slight giggle.’Cause the well-rested parent myth is much like that vajayjay myth right now: I know it’s there…somewhere, but jussssst not quite in full reach yet. But one day… 😉

Ok, ok, ok, enough with subjecting you to TMI bits about my bits! 😉 Enjoy the rest of the week and all the snuggly weather! X


Author: mommabeartrax

Mother of two (and counting), pregnant with the third and have a sweet little angel in heaven. A very happy wifey, blogger, lover of life and laughter, a clumsy swimmer, loyal friend, Im funnier in my head than I actually am, I am a qualified HypnoBirthing Child Birth Educator, I get inexplicably excited about good food, baking & crafts. Although, I think baking and crafts are just trying to fill a void that my Kenpo and gym-rat days used to fill. Lastly, according to the rest of the world, I fix your printer. But I'm actually a Software Architect.

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